way too hard core

11:21AM - holy shit! this is update worthy

i'm done with finals. english, fine. physics, fine. euro, fine. stats, fine. but i was sure that i had failed my calc bc final. i mean i REALLY sucked it up. i just checked grades, and i got a 97%!!!!! sweet jesus, that is higher than i think all but one of my other scores in that class. well, my grade is still an A-. but that could change with the curve...i'm in shock, i thought i would get a C on that final.

Current mood: geeky exuberant

10:14PM

i feel accomplished. i'm not really sure why. i guess it's because the first day of school is over. although, i sense of wave of routine crashing over me. i hate that feeling. the feeling that every day is pretty much like the last.

i just keep telling myself i have nothing left to worry about (but is that such a good thing?).

peace out my homie g's
(i decided i don't say that enough)

Current mood: flying monkeys!!!

Current music: "come on eileen" dixie midnight runners

6:46PM - Sweet Jesus!

new year's eve was fun. i sat around with my family and brit and acted like a fool with noise makers and hats. then i laughed harder than i have in a long time watching my drunk nana freak out yelling, "don't get near it!" as my brother approached an unlit firework. i drank champagne (my parents forced me).

today my brother got a hair cut. if you have ever seen him, you might remember that he has long shaggy wavy hair. now it's no longer than an inch all around. he looks amazing. i love it.  he looks like this guy sort of, but add a beard, and not ben affleck:

i still can't get over how fun sleater-kinney was the other night.

school tomorrow, but i don't really care. i have nothing left to worry about.

Current mood: contemplative

Current music: ladytron "destroy everything you touch"

1:32PM - Sleater-Kinney

Sleater-Kinney was amazing last night.  A night like that was just what i needed to make my holiday complete.  And of course, another kickass t-shirt.

I feel like shit today, but that's all part of the fun.

I saw a ton of people i knew last night.  That was nice.

Current mood: hurray!

Current music: Sleater-Kinney

11:36AM - Christmas Party

i have a christmas party to go to tonight. i'm going to my old neighborhood that i moved out of over 5 years ago. they keep inviting us back. it'll be funny at first. we were a really close neighborhood. but then i will probably feel depressed being back there. it is weird to step back into a world you used to be a part of and notice no visible change after 5 years. hopefully my brother and i won't get annoyed with each other so i can just talk to him. well, even though i'll kinda dreading it, i must admit i and curious.

Current mood: curious nervous hungry

Current music: "my skin" natalie merchant

8:30PM

You are a Social Liberal (81% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (36% permissive) You are best described as a: Strong Democrat Link: The Politics Test on OkCupid Free Online Dating Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Current mood: i ache

Current music: tom petty

7:50PM

i find out about college this week, and i have never been so nervous in my life.
when my brother comes home i am going to be overwhelmed with joy.
i miss him and he says he has some pretty good stories...
my body hurts and i need a break.
i want family.
i want gifts.
and i want snow.
then i can relax.

Current mood: stretched beyond my limits

Current music: mono

2:41PM - afljhsefiohfljk

Here are the rules, kids: The 1st player of this starts with the topic of "5 weird habits of yourself" and people who get tagged need to write an entry about their 5 weird habits, as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next 5 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "You've been tagged" in their journal and tell them to read yours.

1. i don't like being chased. i really don't like it. if someone chases me i literally freak out and crawl into a ball.
2. when i'm eating sunflower seeds i have to either put 11 in my mouth at once or an even number of them less than 14.
3. i have to make the bed before i sleep in it.
4. after i push shut a droar in the kitchen, i have to push it again and then all of the other droars in the kitchen as well.
5. when i'm alone i speak to myself and pretend there are other people in the room.

tag:
ugh.

Current mood: good

Current music: flashdance soundtrack

7:27PM - ben and mel

my brother and his wife arrived from japan this afternoon. i love them. they are really easy to get along with. she's from north carolina, so she sounds like a hick. oh man, it's cool! we order out some really good thai food from thai village in wilsonville and then my dad gave me port. ben and melanie totally think i'm a boozer.

i left my cell phone at brittany's house and i might just be going insane. i am going to go over soon to retrieve it.

this is going to be a good weekend. i can tell. uh! i LOVE family. : )

Current mood: swooning

Current music: cold play

10:14PM

i might be related to this lady.  the inn of the sixth happiness is a movie about her.  i was thinkin' that it would be pretty cool if i was related to her, so fingers crossed.

this weekend was pretty good.  i saw a fight at the hockey game yesterday.  it was over dramatic, and cheesy, but i still count it as the first fight i have witnessed.

stanford is looming over my head.  eric rippey applied also, and if we both get in and both go, i am dreading running into him.  although, the population is large enough that i don't think you have to see anyone you don't want to.

family starts arriving friday.  crazy.  i'm excited.

i want thing to happen.  right now i just feel like i am wasting time.  this year needs to end so i can move on.

Current mood: hm.

Current music: the faint "worked up so sexual"

6:23PM - i gave and received my first "merry christmas" yesterday

Current mood: accomplishedhappysexy

Current music: supertramp "goodbye stranger"

11:47AM

today i am cleaning. it's quite therapeutic. my mom isn't awake yet. she must have had a fun night last night! (wink wink)

i feel good.

i'm going to a hockey game tonight. i know, you're jealous.

joyce was funny last night. i kept hiding my face from her on the couch last night, although i was talking to her. she went coocoo and started accusing me of all sorts of crazy things. she thought i had done something bad, and that was why i was hiding. she's crazy. in reality, i had done nothing, and i think she realized that. oh man, fun times at the campbell's house.

Current mood: productive

Current music: johnny cash

11:41PM - i haven't been able to find my calculus text book for weeks.

today was so so strange.
a lot of things were said.
i was scared and happy and scared.
how can you react when such weighty words are being said to you?
are you sure you know what you are saying?
they are very pretty words, but how can you be sure?

anyway, i'm not sure what i will dream about.
probably the future.
i wonder what my mind will paint.
it could be telling.

you know what is truly telling?
the fact that i am resorting to dreams to determine what i do not know how to decide.

hm.
it is important to remember that we are 17.
we aren't supposed to be thinking this far into the future.
for now, college is on my mind, not diapers.




my parents are trying to dag me to dinner with a woman who i have never said a single word to and they are expecting me to save the evening with my social tendencies. by "social tendencies" my parents are referring to the fact that i don't avoid all social contact, as they do. luckily, i think i will be attending a hockey game that night. i never thought i'd say it, but i'm grateful to be going to a hockey game.

Current mood: contemplativecontententhralled

7:31PM

well. i can breath now. i finished that 15 page paper. (really it was 10-15, so i wrote 10 pages and i sentence)

some shitty things have happened in the past week, but i am putting it all behind me.

i'm focusing on christmas cheer.

i need to go shopping soon. and i need money.

this weekend was pretty much awesome.

i ate turkey on thursday and watched a christmas story.

i saw ALI on friday. i missed her a lot. i saw jonathan, dills, and dustin also (very refreshing).

i looked at pictures of myself looking goofy back at me on saturday.

and today, i got 20 bucks for watching my neighbors dogs for 2 days. freakin' sweet!

there have been a lot of things torturing my mind lately. not the painful kind of torture, but the kind that makes you think a lot about stuff that doesn't really have an answer, or has an answer which you do not want to know. either way, it bothers me.

it makes me nervous for the future, but oddly eager.

Current mood: accomplished,exhaughsted,umpk?

Current music: home movies' theme

7:32AM - oh my!

so i'm pretty excited. there's nothing like eating more food than you have eaten in the whole of last month and then passing out on the couch in front of a christmas story.

"i just eat pie. thought you'd like to know. :)"

oh man. pecan pie, apple pie, pumkin pie.

and now i have a lot of money from watching my neighbors dogs.

yep, things are pretty great.

Current mood: bouncycheerfulexcitedhappy

Current music: "everlasting love" is stuck in my head. i forgot who it was.

7:43AM - chestnut roasting on an open fire

i want christmas i want christmas i want christmas!

i can't wait! it's SO close i can taste it.

Current mood: longing

9:33PM - AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

i'm stressing out. i should just breathe. this year can be as easy as i want to make it.

i got some good news the other day. in ap stats we have a huge project due at the end of the year, and periodically throughout the year the class will have research periods. block days when all i have to do is check in, and then i can leave. HURRAY!!!

yesterday hailey learned that i have only applied to one college (and i will not being applying to any others). she said if she did that she would freak out. and it's not like this place is a sure thing. it's stanford. odd though, i'm not freaked at all. i should be.

i keep getting new idea that i have to write down. i want it to be the weekend so i can go shopping for these items.

i have a 15 page paper due after thanksgiving, and i'm not even sure what i am going to write about. i was going to start and finish it this weekend, but i think i will push it off to thanksgiving weekend. 4 days. 15 pages. 1 nightmare.






well, time to go re-string my mandolin.

Current mood: stressed. oh friday!

Current music: "extraordinary machine" - fiona apple

4:58PM - good party

so sami's was really fun last night. it was definitely my kind of party. no more than 15 people (most of whom i knew). sami's had the classic rock station. i played game after game of pool. there were some illegal things there. oh man! the laughs.

i just took a 2-3 hour nap (i'm not really sure how long it was) and now i have to start studying for my ap euro test tomorrow.

this has been a really good weekend, and i am not looking forward to next week (a full week).

Current mood: satisfied,satisfied,satisfied.

Current music: fiona apple "window"

5:03PM - i said i wouldn't do this, but i'm trying to avoiding doing any work, so...

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want- good or bad. When you're finished, repost this little paragraph and be surprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you.

Current mood: blabity-blah-blah

1:54PM - oh man, a renewed love.

my mom and i just did a lot of shopping. we wanted to buy the fifth season of ab fab, but we couldn't find it anywhere. i'm going to call sam goody sometime soon today.

we went to fry's and i ddred for her. i think she has reached a whole new level of fun making (of me, of course). i had a lot of fun, and before i go to sami's tonight, i'm going back to dance some more. she asked me, "so is that supposed to be dancing?" hah!

i still can't find my phone, and i don't think i left it at caitlin's. i'm just not sure and now it is dead so i can't call it. silver lining: i did just found my cherry chapstick that has been missing for some time.

i'm going to watch the stanford vs. osu game today with my mom. i'm excited. i read today that nick grassi broke his arm last night! now we are really going to suck it up.

Current mood: industrious.igetthingsdonegood